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In a first for humanity, Torontonians have achieved sustained flight, a move scientists see as an adaptation to rising gas prices. First sighted by a tourist, residents were caught taking to the air on video. The recent developments have shocked countless online viewers, leading many to suspect the videos were made with AI.
Tourist John Traveler spoke on camera as he recorded, saying he had “never seen anything like this. I’m the only person driving.” In place of vehicular traffic, places like downtown Toronto saw mid-air human collisions reported in the hundreds by Toronto Police Services (TPS), who also responded without police vehicles. Residents landed on the ground below, yet remained relatively unharmed — perhaps thanks to another unknown adaptation. Oddly, Mayor Olivia Chow was seen floating in bizarre photos leaked to the press, and appeared to not know what reporters were talking about when questioned at City Hall. “I’m standing right here,” she said, visibly confused. “I wish I could float — it would certainly cut costs!”
With gas prices nearing $2.00 CAD per litre city-wide, and the city already dealing with a high cost-of-living, Torontonians have had to find new ways to get around. While this first appeared to be limited to just the city itself, there are now reports that similar mutations have slowly cropped up in the Greater Toronto Area. In York Region, reports of teleportation abound, while in Durham Region, individuals have been seen super-jumping to their destinations. In Toronto itself, residents don’t appear to be flying into the atmosphere, instead maintaining highrise building levels. But as gas prices continue to climb, speculation around the duration of these unconventional travel methods continues to grow. With no relief in sight, it remains unclear whether this development will last. Scientists believe it could be a temporary mutation.
The Toronto Transit Commission (TTC) and Metrolinx, operator of GO Transit, have reported a severe lack of riders. Metrolinx recently released a statement saying they would “prioritize out-of-city riders who do not fly,” according to CEO Michael Lindsay, while TTC CEO Mandeep Lail issued an official statement that “the TTC will look into options to better convenience sky-bound travellers in the downtown core.” It is unclear what these options may be. Pearson International Airport also weighed in, relieved that Torontonians aren’t “colliding with aircraft,” according to CEO Deborah Flint. Gas companies have yet to comment. Likely, the loss of the Toronto-area market has not affected their bottom line yet, as they still have the rest of the country to fall back on — but gas stations in the city are waiting with bated breath to see if they might need to close up shop.
On campus, many Toronto students are unaware that they are actually flying. In an interview with Excalibur, grounded out-of-town student Lady Walker says that it was like “they didn’t even realize they flew over here — like it’s a collective psychosis.” There appears to be a mixed reaction both on campus and across the city. And after flying under the radar, it appears that Toronto may now, in fact, be flying blind.
