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In an effort to “redefine the commuter experience,” the Toronto Transit Commission (TTC) has officially announced that the escalators at York University will now be considered decorative features rather than functional infrastructure.
The decision comes after years of consistent escalator closures, leaving students to question whether the machines were ever intended to operate.
“We realized that students were relying too heavily on escalators,” said a TTC spokesperson. “This new approach encourages independence, resilience, and lower body strength.”
York University students, many of whom already endure long commutes, expressed mixed reactions.
“At this point, I don’t even notice when they’re broken,” stated one student. “I’m more surprised when they actually work.”
To further improve the commuter experience, the TTC is reportedly considering additional upgrades, including introducing subway delays as a new co-curricular requirement—“Teaching the Act of Patience” (additional fees may apply)—rebranding crowded trains as “community bonding experiences,” and introducing a loyalty program in which every 10 unpredictable transit experiences earns commuters absolutely nothing.
Despite receiving some criticism, the TTC remains confident in its vision.
“Our goal is not just to get people from point A to point B,” the spokesperson explained. “It’s the experiences we make along the way!”
While this announcement has been reported, on-site coverage was delayed as reporters were unable to reach York University Station due to “certain accessibility issues.”
When asked how long the escalators would remain in this state, officials clarified that the issue was not about repair, but about “reframing public perception.” A spokesperson explained: “They’re not broken, they’re simply not working.”
This change is reportedly part of a broader push towards “active commuting,” a concept which encourages riders to incorporate physical activity into their daily routines. “In many ways, this is a wellness program,” they said. In practice, this means arriving on campus out of breath, mildly inconvenienced, and slightly more aware of one’s leg muscles — all before 9:00 a.m.
Early results suggest the program has been highly effective. Students report completing full workouts before their first class, often without consent or prior warning. Some have described the experience as “character-building,” while others have described it as “unavoidable.” Either way, participation appears to be non-negotiable.
In addition to its fitness benefits, officials have also pointed out the environmental benefits of the program. Escalators that do not move require little to no electricity, making them one of the most energy-efficient forms of infrastructure currently in (or rather out of) operation.
While the timing of the shift has raised some questions, particularly as institutions across the city continue to navigate budget constraints, the TTC insists any overlap is purely coincidental. Officials declined to confirm any direct connection, noting only that the model is “sustainable,” requiring less power and, conveniently, less money. Any correlation, they maintain, remains purely speculative.
“We prefer to think of it as efficiency,” said the spokesperson. “Why maintain infrastructure when you can simply redefine its purpose?”
Despite mixed reactions, officials remain confident in the program’s long-term success, encouraging commuters to “embrace the multipurpose infrastructure,” trust that everything is functioning exactly as intended, and adjust their expectations accordingly.
To share your experience at York University Station or submit your current heart rate, visit our website or DM us on Instagram @talesfromexcalibur.
