Einstein Appears on York Campus to Announce Discovery in Time Travel

Image by Genty from Pixabay

Albert Einstein is widely recognized as one of the greatest physicists of all time. His theories had significant impacts on how humans understand space, time, gravity and much more. Now that physicist is back with a new invention — time travel.

A group of students were attending class on April 1 at York University’s Curtis Lecture Halls (CLH) when they noticed a large burst of steam and sparks flying into the air. “It looked like a rift in the space-time continuum or something!” said Gena Mullen, a third year physics & astronomy student, who was sitting in a lecture on the theory of relativity.

When the steam cleared, there was an elderly man standing in the middle of the hall. Onlookers described him as having long, white disheveled hair and a large white moustache. 

Professor Siegmund Schönfeld, who was teaching at CLH when the event occurred, and considers himself an expert historian on Einstein and his work, described the man in detail. “He was wearing a brown wool suit and a heavy black overcoat. In one hand he gripped a shiny smoking pipe, which he would occasionally take a puff from. On his other hand, he seemed to be wearing an Apple Watch,” he states. 

Suddenly, the man spoke in a thick German accent, according to Schönfeld, and told the class he was Albert Einstein. Schönfeld tells us the man then proceeded to tell them, “I have come to demonstrate my newest invention. With the help of my theory of relativity, I have invented forward time travel made possible through the technology I am wearing on my wrist.” 

Mullen says students and faculty in the area were shocked to be in the presence of Albert Einstein. “This was someone that I’ve been learning about for much of the last three years,” she states. “It was a surprise to see Professor Einstein in person, especially since he died 68 years ago.”

Schönfeld says he asked Einstein how this is possible. “I was confused, because Professor Einstein must have invented time travel when he was still alive — before 1955 — in order to travel to 2023,” states Schönfeld. “There’s no literature of any kind on this topic from Einstein’s lifetime.”

Einstein explained his new invention and his dramatic entrance. “In order to show the magnificence of my invention, I decided not to announce it when I was alive,” he explains. “I thought it would overshadow my work on the Theory of Relativity, of which I am enormously proud. I wanted to show the true power of my time travel device, so I decided to incorporate the technology into the announcement itself.”

“We were all so excited,” says Mullen. “This is an incredible advancement in physics and I was so happy to be there to witness it!”

Schönfeld noted that travel backward in time is not yet possible according to current understandings of physics, including those established by Einstein in his lifetime through the Theory of Relativity. 

“As such, Professor Einstein is now stuck in 2023,” Schönfeld laments. “On the bright side, he has accepted a teaching position at York University. We are excited to welcome Professor Einstein to our distinguished faculty.”

About the Author

By Hale Mahon

Health Editor

health@excal.on.ca

Hale is a third year student in Public Administration with a Minor in Psychology. He loves politics and sits on a few boards and committees at York, including the Student Centre Board of Directors, the Student Council for LA&PS, and the university’s academic senate. As health editor, he wants to see how medical and scientific research can inform political and organizational decisions, and believes that well-communicated science can improve outcomes for everyone. Outside of work, he enjoys cooking, traveling, hiking, camping, photography, and watching 90’s sitcoms.

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